


Don't

by Mapachi



Series: Stop [1]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Implied/Referenced Cheating, M/M, SO I will keep adding drabbles with dif povs, Swearing, hinted ongniel, how many works are there about cheating daniel really, this is so short but meh, why not upload it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-13
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2018-12-27 12:11:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 20,944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12080814
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mapachi/pseuds/Mapachi
Summary: "Stay here tonight, please."A series of drabbles with different point of views with the main plot being Daniel cheating on Ong with Jaehwan.





	1. Stay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chap1~ Daniel's  
> Chap2~ Ong's  
> Chap3~ Jaehwan's  
> Chap4~ FriendA's  
> Chap5~ Daniel's  
> Chap6~ FriendB's  
> Chap7~ Ong's  
> Chap8~ Ong's  
> Chap9~ Jaehwan's  
> Chap10~ Daniel's  
> Chap11~ Minhyun's  
> Chap12~ Ong's  
> Chap13~ Jaehwan's  
> Chap14~ Ong's  
> Chap15~ Final. Ong's, Daniel's, Jaehwan's  
> +Chap16~ Real ending. Ong's

"Stay here tonight, please,"

 

Daniel stops in his tracks, his hand above the doorknob but refuses to turn around. _His_ voice, small and wavering makes his heart ache, how he sounds like he’s trying his best to not break into tears.

 

"Just one more night, that's all I'm asking for,"

 

He shouldn’t. They both know Daniel should just leave, end this  _thing_ they had wrongly been doing for too long already.

 

“Just one more,”

 

Daniel already has someone else waiting for him back home, a beautiful man with stars in his eyes that he loves with all his heart, a ring shining on his finger as proof of his love.

 

“One night and it will all be over,”

 

He really loves him, honest to God loves him, wants to grow old with him, he wants to make him happy all the time and never see a frown on his sculpture like face.

 

Yet Daniel turns around.

 

He turns around and makes his way back to _another_ man, kisses a pair of lips that are not thin and velvet smooth, warps his arms around a lithe waist that should not feel this familiar. He presses his mouth to a neck that doesn’t smell of home, leaves marks that he shouldn’t leave. He feels small hands make their way under his shirt and claw at his back, leaving swells that will not disappear next morning yet he doesn’t stop him.

 

He moans a name he should not be moaning.

 

_“Jaehwan.”_

 


	2. How

He knows.

 

Of course he knows. There is no way he wouldn't notice. How his lover some nights refuses to turn on the lights, excusing it on a headache.

 

How to miss when his sweet partner turns distant, refusing to meet his eyes for days, those days when he buttons his shirt up properly, when the lowcuts tshirts that he seems to love are gone.

 

How to not miss him when the nights turn cold and he lays alone on their bedroom without his warm body next to his. Nights that used to be the perfect excuse for them to cuddle and stay in bed for hours are now spent alone waiting for him to comeback until the early hours of the day.

 

How to pretend he is ok when his beloved again spends the night out instead of at home with him, how to believe he's still working when his friends and coworkers are back at their own homes.

 

How to hold back a flinch when he wraps his arms around him, pressing his face to his neck nuzzling him tendely only for his nose to catch an unfamiliar cologne.

 

How can he keep pretending when his sleeping fiance moans another man's name.

 

How can the cold golden band around his finger feel warm again when he gets a message from an unkown number, a photo linked inside where the man that owns his heart is pressing his pink lips against another pair of lips, a man that he hoped would be unfamiliar wrapped around his strong arms.

 

How can he walk away when with only a smile his heart flutters, how can he say no when those warm and oh so pink lips press against his in a tender kiss, how can he leave when he loves this cruel man so much his chest aches.


	3. Greed

Greed.

 

Such an ugly feeling that is so familiar to him now. It started out small as he treasured every moment he had _his_ attention on himself, when instead of going to a date he had scheduled _he_ would stay with him, sending a quick text apologizing to his boyfriend.

 

But as time passed, what used to be small moments where he would enjoy those instances where he was picked over his boyfriend, he desired more. He no longer wanted to be a _friend._

 

That night when they were both drinking at his shared apartment with empty beer cans loitering the floor around them on his room, he decided to give in to his desire, he was tired of fearing the possible rejection and its consequences.

 

So he crashed his mouth clumsily against _his_ , his teeth hurt and he was sure for a moment he could taste the coopery taste of blood, but the thought was quickly thrown aside when he could feel the other’s lips moving back against his.

 

Strong and familiar arms wrapped around him and pulled him closer. His own hands made their way under loose clothes, his nails marked their way as he tried to memorize the feeling of _his_ warm skin finally, _finally_ under his fingertips.

 

_“This is only for tonight,”_

He nodded, not daring to voice out his selfish desires, deciding this was enough, just this one night and he would move on, maybe this is what he needed, some kind of closure on his feelings so he could finally move on after so many years of pinning after his best friend.

 

But once the sunlight shined through his curtains and caressed the white and broad back he had longed for so long that now looked so perfect with his marks covering it, he was not so sure he could let go.

 

He had tasted him now, there was no way he would be able to go back.

 

His greed grew.

 

Not even a week later, when they were playing some videogames after a long day at work, _his_ boyfriend having a night out with a couple close friends, he had silently let down his controller and climbed onto his lap, his eyes searching for any sign of rejection. Instead he was glad to see his big hands reach for his waist, his eyes getting darker and his tongue darting out to lick at his lips.

 

He knew he was committing a horrible sin, sleeping with his best friend who was so very in love with his boyfriend, a beautiful and kind boyfriend who he considered his good friend too.

 

He tried to stop once he saw the guilt on his eyes as he called his partner, an excuse slipping out his lips for why he would again not make it home that night. He didn’t initiate anything, instead tried to keep the mood friendly, joking and chatting away, talking about everything that crossed his mind.

 

But when pink lips suddenly pressed against his neck, desperate hands making their way under his shirt and pulling him closer, lust filled eyes staring at him with so much want he felt his knees go weak, he couldn’t stop him, he didn’t _want_ him to stop.

 

Then one day he stopped having a boyfriend. He now had a _fiancée_.

 

His heart ache when he received the news, a bright smile on _his_ face and his eyes shined with the pure happiness he was feeling, his fiancée’s hands grasped on his with their fingers interlocked, a ring shinning almost blindly and they looked so perfect for each other.

 

They promised to stop what they were doing the next day.

 

_“I love him too much, I can’t keep doing this. This was all a mistake,”_

 

He had nodded with a small smile on his lips, shame clear on his posture. He apologized and promised it wouldn’t happen again. He even congratulated him and said yes when asked if he would still be his best man as they had promised all those years ago.

 

He thought he could keep their promise, he really thought he was strong enough to control his greedy heart, it was enough to be his best friend, he would never forget those passionate nights where he tried to ignore his aching heart that wanted _more._

 

But he couldn’t.

 

**"Stay here tonight, please,”**

 

His greed was too big now.

 

 


	4. Denial

Denial

 

It hurt to see his beloved close friend be in so much denial, such desperation to make himself believe his relationship with his fiancée was perfect as always. His friend had an actor’s visual - if he had pursued that career he is sure he would be someone big but instead he stuck to the modeling world- and he put his face to work all the time now.

 

A fake smile when yet again the voice on the other side of the phone apologized for having to stay late hours _working_. A big and warm smile that didn’t reach his eyes when asked about the date of his marriage, his words of excitement coming out hollow for him.

 

But maybe it was only him that noticed these little things as the others would mutter words of reassurance and clap his back with happiness and a congratulation coming out of their mouths.

 

It hurt to see him lying like this to himself but that’s not what hurt the most.

 

What hurt the most, what made his heart ache and blood boil was to see _them_.

 

When _they_ thought they were being sneaky by sending each other glances, their eyes leaving no secrets as the mixture of lust and guilt was crystal clear on them. It was not that difficult to put one and two together, the new shine Jaehwan’s eyes had where before there was a heartbroken emptiness as if he were missing something, the way Daniel’s ears would grow a soft pink when he meet his childhood friend's eyes across the coffee table.

 

He had always feared _something_ would happen, when he meet them back in their first year of university, it was obvious they felt something special for each other. He had asked Jaehwan about it when they were starting to become friends and the younger’s body had tensed, his eyes grew distant as he looked anywhere else but at him and with a straight face said:

 

_“We’re best friends hyung, that’s the way it’s always been and that’s the way it will always be.”_

 

He would have called bullshit but it was obvious the other was not going to take it well, it was also honestly not his business. Daniel on the other hand was more difficult to approach for him and hence the situation never presented itself. Instead he witnessed as his path crossed with Seongwoo’s and the rest is history.  The two of them were head over heels for each other and for the next couple years he forgot completely about Jaehwan’s and Daniel’s _issue_.

 

Then everything changed yet stayed the same.

 

Daniel and Seongwoo were still _the_ couple for every outsider, their friends would call them _relationship goals_ and Daniel was quick to look at the floor with shame clear on his eyes, Seongwoo’s smile would turn forced and he could see the heartache in his brow eyes.

 

Jaehwan and Daniel were still _the_ platonic duo, their friendship was something everyone found adorable and how couldn’t they? Friends since birth and growing up together, a brother in every way except in their blood. But he was the only one that was able to read the _hunger_ in Daniel’s eyes and the longing in Jaehwan’s.

 

This went on for too long so he decided to take matters into his own hands. It pained him to see the way Seongwoo would idly play with his engagement ring, a frown on his face when he thought no one was watching.

 

But he was always watching him, always had been and probably always will.

 

So on one of his visits to Sewoon’s and Jaehwan’s shared apartment he placed a small camera on the TV stand. A week later he dropped by with the excuse of having _forgotten_ a sweeter he had worn on his visit and taken off before kicking it under the couch when both Sewoon and Jaehwan were in the kitchen. Back home he transferred the video footage to his laptop, took a clear screenshot of the act he was so sure he was going to caught he wasn’t even surprised and then using a new sim card, sent the screenshot to _his_ number.

 

A couple minutes later after he had changed back to his sim card and thrown the other one away he received a call that he was quick to answer. The despair on _his_ voice made his heart ache so badly he all but ran to the other’s apartment. He only had to knock twice before the door was thrown open and he had _him_ on his arms.

 

_“I love him_

_I love him too much_

_It hurts_

_Make it stop hurting_

_Please_

**_Minhyun_ ** _”_

 

Then he kissed him.


	5. Guilt

This is fucked up.

He is fucked up.

 

Of course he knows what he is doing is wrong, there is no excuse for his actions. He’s hurting Seongwoo so much and he sees it, sees the pain in the other’s eyes that never seems to leave nowadays. He misses the bright smiles and silly laugh, he misses the way he only had to be besides the other to feel his chest full and warm, his heart fluttering in such a comforting manner that made him feel complete.

 

Or that’s what he thought.

 

He hadn’t realized there was actually emptiness inside him, he had so much of Seongwoo inside him that he thought there was no space for anyone else inside his heart, the idea was simply ridiculous.

 

But then _that_ night happened.

 

The moment Jaehwan’s lips had clumsily crashed against his he realized he actually was still missing something. There was a space for Jaehwan inside his heart, a space he had thought Seongwoo had filled.

 

The next morning when he woke up the bed was empty and cold. He put his clothes back on and left the bedroom following the melodic voice of his best friend singing in the kitchen as he reheated a couple dishes his mother had given him when he visited his parents a couple days before. He didn’t need to say anything or make any noise for the other to notice his presence, they were so synced they didn’t need that so when Jaehwan turned around with a small and so happy smile on his still swollen lips he was quick to bring up a random topic of conversation, anything to not talk about the night before. Jaehwan’s eyed had dimmed a little and his smile faltered for a moment before he nodded as he understood he didn’t want to talk about what had happened.

 

When he had gone back to the apartment he shared with his boyfriend he was not able to look into his eyes or even be in the same room as him, the shame and guilt were eating him up and he excused himself with the excuse of feeling hangover even when both knew he never got hangover.

 

The shame he felt was of course for cheating on his partner who he loved so very much, the small velvet box hidden on his dresser was the proof of it.

 

The guilt on the other hand was because no matter how much he tried to, he couldn’t regret what he had done. The feeling of Jaehwan’s soft and hot skin under his fingertips was even better than his high school self had imagined, his taste was something that he now craved and was not sure could resist reaching out for it again.

 

The second time was even better with both of them being completely sober, their movements were not longer clumsy but being sober made the shame bigger, he knew what he was doing, now the face of Seongwoo had crossed his mind as he kissed and sucked at Jaehwan’s neck forcing sweet whimpers out his mouth. He was so conscious of how different Seongwoo and Jaehwan felt but it didn’t feel wrong even when he knew it was.

 

That night when he wrapped his arms around his sleeping best friend he allowed himself to pretend everything was ok, he nuzzled the other’s neck and pulled him closer and when in his sleep Jaehwan had leaned back sighing contently he swore the other belonged in his arms.

 

Seongwoo the next day when they meet for dinner had kept his eyes strictly on the table, a silence so heavy that suffocated him. When they kissed goodnight his lips had trembled for a moment before he turned away.

 

As he kept having those encounters with his best friend –turned lover- he grew guiltier, the light was escaping Seongwoo’s eyes and instead was shinning in Jaehwan’s and that made it all worse for he knew Jaehwan felt more than plain lust for him, the adoration was crystal clear on his eyes when he moaned under him, his lips kissed him so sweetly and his hands grasped at him as if he was scared he would disappear.

 

By all means what he should do is stop. Break up with Seongwoo or stop sleeping with Jaehwan. Those were the only options he had.

 

But instead he proposed to Seongwoo.

 

_“Are you serious?”_

_“Of course I am, I love you.”_

 

Seongwoo had broken into tears and let him slip the ring on his finger, he had sobbed as he stared at it before he wrapped his arms around him hugging as close as possible pressing kisses all over his face until finally he kissed his lips enthusiastically trying to show how happy he was. The next morning they called their closest friends and arranged to meet for dinner at their place to tell them the news. He saw the heartache in Jaehwan’s eyes, how he tried to hide it and he felt how a part of his heart broke alongside his but Seongwoo's hand tightened around his. He couldn't love Jaehwan anymore, not when he had Seongwoo.

 

_“I love him too much, I can’t keep doing this. This was all a mistake,”_

 

He lied through his teeth for he didn't feel it was a mistake, it was wrong but he refused to believe it was a mistake. He was only hurting him even more, but he had decided he would dedicate himself to Seongwoo, the opportunity of a future with Jaehwan had already passed and he had missed it, if only he had reached out before but it was too late now, now he was in love with Seongwoo and he didn’t want to keep hurting him. With a final nod he turned around and made his way to the front door of his best friend’s apartment not daring to stay any longer.

 

_"Stay here tonight, please,”_


	6. Omissio

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Omissio: Latin for omission. The act of neglecting to perform an action one has an obligation to do

The reason for why he pretended to not know what was happening was really selfish and he knows it, knows that by pretending to not know he was part of it in a twisted way.

 

He had been friends with Daniel and Jaehwan since they were in middle school, he was the one that started teasing them in high school for he and everyone else could see the two boys felt something more for each other but were too blind to see for themselves.

 

They were perfect for each other, he wanted his friends to be happy. But high school passed by and they never took that step they needed. With university came along the existence of Ong Seongwoo, beautiful and almost too perfect Seongwoo. To everyone's surprise he and Daniel fell in love, like out of a Disney movie.

 

_"Jaehwanie, are you really going to let Daniel go just like this?"_

 

The sad smile on Jaehwan's face was heartbreaking, the sorrow in his tearful eyes made him want to go wherever Daniel was and make him fix it. Such expression didn't belong in his friend.

 

_"I’m not letting him go, he was never mine."_

 

He was there when Jaehwan tried to move on, when he pretended to have a crush on a cute but sassy junior -that boy was not stupid and knew Jaehwan was lying- when he tried to date a classmate of theirs, the kindest girl he had ever met with an angelic voice and the prettiest eye smile. Daniel had asked him to take care of Jaehwan for him after the boy himself had stopped talking to him in their fifth semester when Jaehwan started to sleep around not caring for his feelings or body, he was that desperate to stop having those feelings for his best friend.  By the time their graduation came around Jaehwan had given up for the time being.

 

 _“Someday I’ll meet_ the one _like Daniel did, I’ll just have to wait until then,”_

He had told him it was not healthy to think like that, had told him his happiness shouldn’t depend on somebody else but Jaehwan had rolled his eyes and told him he of course knew this, he was not going to go around looking for _them_ but instead would focus on keep following his dream. That’s how they auditioned for several record labels, showing how good they were at songwriting and producing their own songs.

 

He had thought his friend had moved on, he was now able to hang out with Daniel like they used to back in high school. It was so common to find Daniel in their apartment he might as well live there, he could hear them laughing in the living room as they played games and drank beer when all he wanted was to sleep. Daniel and Seongwoo were as in love -if not more- with each other as they had been since day one.

 

Then something changed.

 

It was not something unusual for him to not go back to their apartment, sometimes he preferred to stay at his studio and keep working on a song until he couldn’t keep his eyes open anymore. One morning when he came back he found Jaehwan sitting alone in the kitchen staring at the table with a blank face, there was no music playing from the stereo nor was the TV on and that send the alarm going inside his head.

 

Jaehwan hated the silence.

 

Without saying anything or making a single noise he walked closer to his friend and that’s when he noticed the state he was in. He was wearing one of his baggy and old shirts that hanged low one shoulder. There were several dark bruises scattered on his neck and collarbones, his hair was messy but he had been living with him enough to know it was different from his bed head.

 

He was about to ask him why he was so serious if it seemed like he had a good night when something caught his attention. There in the table was a familiar coffee cup, one that he knew who it belonged to.

 

_“Oh my God, Jaehwan…”_

 

As soon as he had muttered those words Jaehwan flinched before he looked up, his eyes looked so lost, he could see the heartache in them and he reached forward to wrap his arms around his friend. He hugged him as he cried, his body shaking with how hard he was sobbing, his hands grabbing fistfuls of his shirt as he pushed his face against his chest wanting to hide from everything.

 

After he had calmed down he had asked him if he wanted to talk about it, assuring him he wouldn’t tell anyone else and wouldn’t judge him but Jaehwan had declined, saying there was no need to talk about it. That it wouldn’t happen again.

 

And he sounded so pained by that.

 

But it did.

 

A week later he had entered their apartment at around 2am, his inspiration had run out for the night and decided it was better to go back and rest. Jaehwan had told him beforehand Daniel would spend the night at their place since Seongwoo was having a night out with his friends. He had been wary but Jaehwan had assured him nothing would happen and he had believed him. That’s why he couldn’t believe at first the sounds he could hear coming from Jaehwan’s room. As quiet as possible he left the apartment, figuring it was better to not be there the next morning.

 

The next day he confronted Jaehwan, asking him if he knew what he was getting himself into, he was only looking out for him for he already had an idea of how this would all turn out, how this would end.

 

_“He kissed me back.”_

_“Jaehwanie, you’ll only get hurt,”_

 

Jaehwan smiled sadly at  him.

He was conscious of it.

But even then he didn’t stop.

 

He started to spend more nights sleeping at his studio or staying over at his friend’s place more than at his own apartment, Jaehwan would send him a text telling him Daniel would come over and that was it.

 

He tried to stop him once, tried to make his friend see that he would only end up hurting in the end, but he didn’t want to. It hurt to see the guilt and shame on Daniel’s eyes when he happened to run on him on his way out one morning, he was practically running out and he knew the reason, it was almost 11am on a Friday, he and Seongwoo would always meet at 10am for breakfast at a small restaurant close to the dance studio where Daniel worked, his class starting at 11:30. Daniel was about to go around him but he stopped him grabbing at his arm.

 

_“I didn’t knew you could be this cruel Daniel,”_

 

The disappointment on his voice was so heavy Daniel didn’t dare to look at his face, his eyes staring at the floor as he bit on his lower lip. He opened his mouth as if to defend himself but closed it quickly. There was no way he could excuse what he was doing.

_“Do you even love him?”_

 

He didn’t say a name for he knew Daniel knew who he was referring to.

 

_“I do,”_

 

Daniel sounded pained and for a moment he let his walls down. He had been friends with him for so long and he had never seen Daniel like this, there was desperation in his eyes as if he were begging Sewoon to help him. But this was something he had to resolve by himself.

 

_“But not enough, right?”_

 

 

 

 


	7. Pain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is thanks to Alpaca-anon  
> thank you for the ideas mom ;) ;) ;)

He freezes the moment unfamiliar lips press against his.

 

Minhyun’s lips move urgently against his but still with tenderness under it, as if he was desperate to make him kiss him back but fearing to hurt him at the same time. His arms wrap around him slowly giving him the opportunity to step away and stop him.

 

But he stays still.

 

He feels a hand place itself on his lower back pulling him closer, the other hand moves to the back of his head, his fingers getting lost in his black hair. The kiss slows down as Minhyun sighs against his lips, the desperation gone and the tenderness staying. He kisses him with so much care he feels his heart break.

 

For he longs to be kissed just like this.

But not by him.

Never by him.

 

He can’t help but break into tears again, he didn’t want this to happen, he only wanted his best friend to support him, give him a shoulder to cry on. Minhyun flinches away from him and stares at him worriedly, his hands cupping his face and his thumbs brush the tears away tenderly but he slaps his hands away.

 

How could Minhyun think it was the right moment to make a move on him? He’s hurting because his fiancé is cheating on him with his best friend, how could he just do the same to him? It doesn’t make sense.

 

He couldn’t ever do that to Daniel.

Even if he was doing that to him.

 

Minhyun shakes his head as if trying to get himself together. When he looks at him he nods and reaches to grab his hand. He tells him he should pack his stuff and leave, he tells him he can stay at his place for whoever long he needs, promises to not try to take advantage of him and he apologizes for kissing him without his permission.

 

_“Leave?”_

_“Yeah, you can’t stay with him Seongwoo, he’s not worth it.”_

 

… _Leave Daniel_? The mere idea makes him grown numb, his heart feels as if it were about to break in two and he feels a coldness envelope him. How could he leave Daniel? There is no way he could do that, he can’t imagine a life without Daniel in it. Daniel belongs by his side just as much as he belongs in Daniel’s. Suddenly he can breathe properly, his heart is beating too fast and he can’t calm down.

 

Minhyun calls his name worriedly and grabs his hands leading him back into his apartment and sitting him down on the couch, he tells him to try and breath at the same time as him, taking deep breaths and letting them out slowly. It takes a couple minutes but he finally can breathe again normally. He mumbles how he can’t just leave Daniel, not without giving him a chance to explain himself. Minhyun of course doesn’t like it, he quickly tries to convince him to just leave, tells him how there’s no way Daniel can excuse what he had been doing to him but Seongwoo shuts him down.

 

He decided to wait for Daniel to comeback, no matter how late he did, he would stay up waiting for him. He tells Minhyun to leave, promising he would contact him after he’s done, the other doesn’t want to listen to him at first, refusing to leave him alone with Daniel but at the end Minhyun obeys him and leaves him alone.

 

He stays sitting on the couch, his mind betraying him as he remembers all those times Daniel would smile at him with so much love shinning in his eyes, his lips pressing tender kisses against his that made him feel all warm and content, his strong arms wrapping around him and hugging him closer until he was pressed against his broad chest, he just knew he belonged in his arms, they fitted perfectly.

 

It’s around 11pm when he finally hears the sound of keys unlocking the front door. He takes a deep breath to try and calm his quickly racing heart, he feels so nervous that if he had eaten anything he’s sure he would throw it up. Daniel closes the door behind him and jumps a little when he finds him sitting there in the living room in complete silence and darkness.

 

He feels like the scene is taken out of a cheesy drama, if only it was all fake but no, this was sadly the reality he was living in.

 

_“Seongwoo? What are you doing up?”_

 

Daniel sounds confused, titling his head like a puppy. His clothes are in the same condition as when he left that morning so that means he didn’t do _anything_ that day. He opens his mouth and tries to say something, to be direct and ask him if there’s anything he should know but his throat is dry and he ends up coughing. Daniel is now standing in front of him so he reaches for the water bottle Minhyun had left by the coffee table and hands it to him.

 

He drinks the water slowly, trying to think of a way to bring up the topic but he finds no way to do this without beating around the bushes. He was never one to do that anyways, so gathering his courage he stands up and with a blank face looking into Daniel’s eyes asks him if he’s hiding something from him.

 

Daniel is caught off guard of course but he was always a bad liar. His ears quickly grow pink and his eyes look anywhere else but at him.

 

“No,”

 

His voice is so meek and weak he can’t believe he is daring to lie to him. He’s giving him a chance, a chance to come off clean, to explain himself but Daniel is not taking it.

 

He _wants_ Daniel to take it.

 

_“Are you sure?”_

_“Yeah, there’s nothing I can think about,”_

 

Suddenly, he feels livid. His blood burns inside his veins and he swears his sight flashes red for a moment. Is Daniel for real?

 

_“You’re cheating on me Daniel!”_

 

His screams echoes inside the quiet apartment, his ears ring and his hands shake. It’s the first time he has said it out loud and now it feels realer, realer than when he saw that photo that same afternoon. He grows angrier.

 

_“You’re fucking cheating on me Kang Daniel! Your fiancé!”_

_“I’m not! You’re wrong Seongwoo! I love you!”_

_I love you_

_I…love you?_

 

How can he just claim that after all he had done? It was not a single lustful night, he knows Daniel had been sleeping with someone else since a couple months before he had proposed. He had feared Daniel would abandon him but instead Daniel had proposed to him, swearing he loved him and he had believed him, but instead…

 

Rage boils though his body, he wants Daniel to shut up, to stop saying such hurtful lies. Without thinking what he’s doing he raises his hand back and throws it forward as hard as he could, whipping it across Daniel’s face. The crack of skin contacting skin echoes off the walls. The palm of his hand stings quickly spreading all the way to his finger tips, the mark of his hand is red on Daniel’s cheek.

 

With shaking hands he reaches inside his pocket, fumbling to unlock it and quickly turns his phone away so the screen faces Daniel’s shocked face not wanting to look a single second at the screen where the photo of Daniel making out with Jaehwan is still shown.

 

“Don’t lie to me Daniel, don’t tell me you love me when you’ve been cheating on me with your best friend.”

 

His voice is ice cold making Daniel flinch, he had never used such a tone on him, never had the need to. Daniel opens his mouth but no words come out, his eyes shine with unshed tears and Seongwoo’s heart breaks a little more.

 

“Seongwoo I- I love you I swear!”

 

Daniel pleads, his hands reaching to cup his face but he slaps them away harshly. He doesn’t want him to touch him, the thought makes his stomach sick. Daniel’s eyes follow his hands, his eyes catching the glint of his engtament ring that still shines in his ring finger.

 

Seongwoo hesitates for a moment but he decides it for the best, so with a heavy heart he takes his ring off. Daniel lets out a sob and he reaches again to him, pleads and promises escaping his mouth but he tries his best to ignore them.

 

Once the ring sits on the palm of his hand he closes his eyes for a moment. Daniel keeps begging but he can barely hear him now with how loud his heart is beating. Seongwoo turns around and makes his way inside their bedroom, Daniel following behind him.

 

Daniel watches as he opens the closet and pulls a suitcase out, opening it and leaving it on the bed before he quickly grabs whatever he can grab of Daniel’s clothes and throws them inside the suitcase. By the time he is done his eyes sting with the tears he is holding back, he refuses to cry in front of Daniel. He won’t cry, not until Daniel is out the door.

 

_“Leave.”_

_“But Seong-“_

_“Leave!”_

_“Please Seongwoo don’t do this!”_

**_“Fucking leave!”_ **

 

He throws the ring at Daniel’s chest, the ring falls to the floor and the blonde quickly bends down to pick it up. His heart aches as he watches Daniel stare at the ring now in his hands, his shoulders shaking with how hard he’s crying.

 

He needs Daniel to leave now before his strength runs out, before he can regret what he’s doing and apologize to Daniel, to beg him to let him take the ring back, to believe his promises, to tell him he still loves him and always will.

 

Daniel looks up and their eyes meet.

 

Seongwoo is shaking, his heart is crying to stop what he is doing. If Daniel asks him to let him stay, he knows he will. The rage from before is gone and now only the sorrow remains.

All Daniel needs to do is ask.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

But he doesn’t.

 

He stands up, grabs the suitcase and turns around. Seongwoo follows him to the front door a couple meters behind him. Seongwoo watches as Daniel puts his shoes back on and opens the door. Before he leaves he turns to Seongwoo and says:

 

_“I’m sorry_

_I love you.”_

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And finally the plot moves forward!!


	8. Why

The moment he hears Daniel lock the door behind him the tears he had been fighting so hard fall, he’s not able to hold them back anymore. He reaches to try and dry them but they don’t stop falling. His breathing gets uneven as he can’t help but sob. He makes his way back to the couch and sits down.

 

There is no way he can enter the bedroom, not when the closet and drawers are still open, the mess he left behind as he packed Daniel's clothes a blatant reminder of what has happened. The living room is not that much better place to be right now, there are pictures hanging on the walls, pictures that show them being happy and in love.

 

On reflex he reaches for his phone but the picture that greets him makes him throw it away, the phone crashing against the floor and he's sure the screen is now completely broken but he couldn't care less. He curves his back bringing his legs up as tightly against his chest as possible bowing his head between his knees and wraps his arms around his head trying to make himself as small as possible.

 

He wakes up the next morning, body sore and tired, he knows his eyes must be swollen from all the crying he did the night before. He sits up slowly and counts to 10 before standing up and walking in the direction he recalls throwing his phone. The screen is not as damaged as he thought it would be, his screen protector turned out to be a very good one. He unlocks it and exits the gallery without looking at it, once he’s in his home screen he sees he has a lot of unanswered calls from Minhyun –he did promise to call him- and messages from others he ignores. The disappointment is hard to ignore, he was half expecting to see a message from _him_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

5 days.

 

It’s been 5 days since he broke up with Daniel.

 

5 days since the last time he saw him or heard from him.

 

He should be glad he thinks, to not know anything about him anymore, to have him out his life after all the hurt he inflected on him.

 

But he’s not.

 

He misses him, misses him so bad he’s fighting the urge to call him all the time, to beg him to come back. He has not left the apartment since that day and he spends the days laying down on the couch, the TV on but only serving a background noise, his phone clutched to his chest as he can’t help but wait for Daniel to call him.

 

The only communication he had done since that night was a brief call with Minhyun to ask him to call in sick for him, he was about to hang up after the other had agreed when he had told him something that made him freeze.

 

_“I’ll help you with the cancelation of the weeding plans, ok? All you need to do is ask,”_

 

He had thought he had run out of tears but Minhyun made it clear to him he still had some left.  How could his friend be this heartless? He for sure has to know the pain he’s inflecting on him even if he thinks he’s doing what’s right. The idea of having to call his parents and tell them their son was no longer getting married to the man he swore he loved was horrible and even worse was the idea of explaining to them why, why he had broken the engagement.

 

He felt ashamed.

 

He was not enough for Daniel. If Daniel truly loved him, he wouldn’t have gone to Jaehwan. If only he had been enough for Daniel, if only he had occupied all of Daniel’s heart he wouldn’t had cheated on him. Maybe if he had been better, a better partner and a better lover, Daniel would have stayed.

 

A sudden knock on the front door makes him stand up quickly and before he can stop himself he makes his way to it, he tries to school his face into a blank mask before he opens the door.

 

_“Oh? Seongwoo-hyung,”_

 

Jaehwan.

 

He forces a small smile on his face as he nods his greeting. He invites him inside without thinking twice and the younger silently enters, bowing his head and looking anywhere else but at him.

 

_“Is Daniel here? He has not been answering his phone and –“_

_“What? You’re going to hook up at our place now?”_

 

His voice is cold and low making Jaehwan flinch as if he had physically hit him, he turns around and looks at him with his eyes wide open, the surprise crystal clear on them. His fake smile turns bitter ad he tilts his head like a confused animal in a mocking manner.

 

Jaehwan sighs tiredly, almost as if he had been waiting for this to happen. Seongwoo feels himself getting angrier by the idea of him expecting this to happen. The younger closes his eyes for a couple moments and takes a deep breath before opening them again, a calm and collected expression on his face. There is not shame or guilt on his eyes or his posture Seongwoo notes.

 

His instinct tells him to scream, to curse at Jaehwan for what he has done, to blame him for the situation he is in now, for ruining everything. But instead he feels emptiness as he asks him:

 

 

_“Do you love him?”_

 

 

Jaehwan nods slowly. He feels a growing lump on his throat and his eyes burn with the tears he’s now fighting.

 

 

_“I do, I love him.”_

 

 

The tears escape him against his will, he doesn’t want to cry in front of _him_ but everything hurts too much. Daniel’s lover is standing there in front of him, confirming he loves him, his voice firm and emotionless but his eyes give away the pain he too feels.

 

 

_“Then why…Why did you let me have him if you were going to take him away?”_

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not very happy with how this chapter turned out :// but I hope you all like it!


	9. Blame

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update!

He closes the door quietly behind him, not bothering to lock it. There’s a gentle humming coming from the kitchen so he sneaks into his bedroom. He sits on his bed and stares at the wall in front of him.

 

_“Then why…Why did you let me have him if you were going to take him away?”_

 

Seongwoo had sounded so miserable, as miserable as he looked. In all the years he had known the model he had never seen him like that. His usually well cared for hair was a mess as if it hadn’t seen a brush in days, his dark circles were prominent, eyes swollen and with a tinge of red. He feels as if a heavy weight had settled on his body, so heavy he doesn’t think he would be able to stand up, he can barely breathe properly and he knows it’s the guilty eating him up.

 

But then the sight of Seongwoo’s empty ring finger crosses his mind.

 

His body is conflicted, his chest feels as if it were collapsing on itself but he also feels like his heart is too full, as if it were about to burst. He’s getting lightheaded and he’s trying to get a grip on himself when the door of his bedroom opens.

 

Sewoon walks in without saying anything and walks up to sit next to him. He waits silently until Jaehwan feels ready to tell him what happened. It takes a couple of minutes but he finally opens his mouth.

 

_“I was looking for Daniel but only found Seongwoo-hyung,”_

 

Sewoon hums and nods as a sign he’s listening to him, his hand reaches to pat Jaehwan’s back in a comforting manner and he can feel himself relax a little.

 

 _“He knows about us, asked me if we were going to_ “hook up” _at their place now,”_

 

He still feels ashamed at the accusation and he shrinks on himself. His friend besides him can’t help but grimace, everyone knew Seongwoo could be something else, he knew how to handle his words like swords.

 

_“He was not wearing his ring…”_

 

He mumbles, voice so low but in the quietness of the room its feels as if he had yelled it. He holds his breath for he knows his friend can listen to the hopefulness in his voice, the feeling that betrays him and he can’t escape.

 

Sewoon takes his hand back and instead cups his face, forcing him to turn to him and look into his eyes. He stays still as his friend looks deeply into his eyes, pupils almost shaking as he _looks_ for something.

 

Maybe he’s trying to find shame, the guilt that he has grown so accustomed to. Anything but the spark of hope for something else.

 

 Something that they both know Jaehwan won’t get.

 

But still, his eyes shine, shine with the stupid spark of hope, the hope of Daniel staying with him now that Seongwoo has found out about them.

 

_“Jaehwanie, don’t… you know he won’t-“_

 

His friend sounds so sad, his voice full of pity for him, his hands are warm and the way he holds his face is careful as if he feared he would break if treated anything else but gently. He’s so blessed to have a friend like Sewoon.

 

He shakes his head slowly and lifts his hands up to grab at Sewoon’s removing them from his face. Sewoon only watches as he stands up on unstable legs, his knees weak but he has decided what he will do. He gives his friend a small smile, he knows he doesn’t have to say outloud what he’s about to do for him to know.

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“Oh Jaehwanie, I’m glad to see you! I considered calling you but I was not sure if I should bother you,”_

 

Jisung indeed looks relieved to see him. That must meant that his guess was right this time and Daniel had gone to his cousin’s place. Of course that’s where he would run to, Jisung had always spoiled him rotten and wouldn’t question until Daniel felt ready to talk.

 

_“We should let him take care of Daniel,”_

 

Taewoong – Jisung’s husband – says from behind Jisung, his hand reaching to grab Jisung’s hand and pull him outside the house ignoring his complaints. Jaehwan watches as the couple leaves, Jisung sending him a thumbs up.

 

He’s thankful they left, if Jisung had reacted like that it meant Daniel had not told him what had happened and he didn’t want them to find out, especially not by overhearing what was about to happened.

 

He closes the door behind him and tries to calm his racing heart, he’s so nervous he fears his legs will fail him but he still turns and makes his way to the door he knows is the guest room after all he and Daniel had helped Jisung move in.

 

He knocks thrice on the door but there’s no answer, he can’t even hear any sound coming from inside the bedroom. He sighs as he leans forward and rests his head against the door. Lifting his hand up he knocks again, this time in a pattern, one that brings him back to their childhood days for a moment, one that he knows will make Daniel react.

 

When he’s done knocking the door flies open and he stumbles forward, familiar arms grab at his sides stopping him from falling before they push him back so he can stand by himself.

 

_“What are you doing here?”_

 

Daniel’s voice is cold, no emotion to be found on it. He’s not sure what he was expecting, but the sight of Daniel looking so heartbroken caught him off guard. He opens his mouth but no words come out and he’s left there gaping like a fish fresh out of the water.

 

When he finally manages to say something, he immediately wished he hadn’t.

 

_“I meet with Seongwoo,”_

 

Daniel’s eyes widens and his jaw goes slack.

 

_“I went to your apartment since you haven’t been answering your phone and I was worried something had happened to you,”_

Daniel groans and lifts his hands up, hiding his face behind them. His shoulders go up to his ears as he tries to make himself smaller, he clearly doesn’t want to listen anymore but he can’t seem to stop talking.

 

_“He was not wearing his ring,”_

 

_“I know, he threw it at me when he yelled at me to get the fuck away,”_

 

_“Oh…”_

He watches silently as Daniel walks backwards until he’s falling back, sitting on the bed. He’s frozen still and he can’t do nothing but watch as Daniel slowly falls apart right in front for him.

 

Daniel had used to be a loud crier when they were kids, he would wail at the top of his small lungs and Jaehwan’s ears would ring until the youngest stopped crying. He instead was a silent one, his tears would fall but he didn’t wail or cry for his parents, he barely sobbed. As they grew their roles were exchanged. Daniel stopped crying and on the rare occurrence he did he would only get teary eyed, the tears rarely escaped him while Jaehwan would now cry even when watching a movie or listening to an emotional song.

 

But now Daniel is sobbing, his hands keep trying to dry the tears that keep falling no matter how many times he wipes them away, his whole body is shaking, small whimpers escape him and he doesn’t know how to console him, if he _should_ console him.

 

He makes his way to him slowly, he kneels in front of him and he reaches to cup his face, he wipes the tears with his thumbs carefully. He remembers for a moment, how when they were children Daniel would calm down when he kissed his forehead, he always said he found a comfort in the gesture. So he leans forward and presses his lips tenderly against his sweaty forehead, letting his lips stay pressing against the skin for a couple seconds too long, trying to comfort him as much as possible with that simple gesture.

 

Daniel manages to take a deep breath and he feels relieved for a moment, thinking he managed to calm him down if even a little.  He leans back enough to look at Daniel’s face, not expecting to find him looking at him like he is, with blank cold eyes. Daniel opens his mouth and whispers something, in such a calm and chilling manner he can’t believe his ears for a moment, doesn’t want to believe them.

 

But as he stares at him, he realizes he didn’t hear wrong. He stands up, ignoring how weak he feels, he nods with a small smile and turns away. He walks out the house and ignores the tears that now fall down his face, ignores how much his chest aches, ignores how much he wants to just fall to his knees and cry.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

_“This is all your fault.”_

 


	10. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update (again)!!

_“This is all your fault.”_

 

As soon as the words leave his mouth he regrets them, wishes he could take them back. But he doesn’t and instead watches as his best friend stands up and smiles sadly at him, watches as he turns around and leaves and he can only taste the bitter regret.

 

Maybe he should go after Jaehwan, apologize to him and tell him it’s not his fault, take all the blame on himself. He can’t lose him too, not after losing Seongwoo.

 

But he’s scared.

 

He is scared if he goes after Jaehwan he will give in again, will try to kiss the tears away, the tears he knows he must be shedding, wrap his arms around him and hug him as close as possible.

 

He is scared Jaehwan will ask for _more_.

 

Will ask for something _else_.

 

He noticed the way Jaehwan’s eyes sparked lightly when he mentioned Seongwoo was not wearing his engagement ring. The light in his eyes had shined so clearly and purely, the hope in them was impossible to miss.

 

Jaehwan was hoping for something Daniel couldn’t give him.

 

He was desperate for more and he had noticed since the first time. The way he clutched at his back, his nails digging into his skin marking him as if he were his even when they both knew he was someone else’s, the way he would cuddle into him after they were done, it was clear it was more than lust for him when he would slow down the heated kisses until they were kissing languidly.

 

Jaehwan had always been silently asking for more.

 

But Daniel pretended to not know.

 

He pretended to not know for he couldn’t give him what he wanted. What Jaehwan was asking for was something he had already given to Seongwoo and he didn’t want to take it back, couldn’t take it back. That’s why he should had stopped, should had apologized to Jaehwan for taking advantage of him, for leading him on so cruelly.

 

But he was weak and a fool, his own heart asked him to give in, to allow himself to indulge in Jaehwan’s love just like he had dreamed of back when they were in high school. He had thought he had gotten over his best friend but he was wrong, heck maybe he would never get over him. His childhood friend, the clumsy and loud kid he had grown up with, the same kid that used to kiss Daniel’s forehead so he could calm down when nothing else worked, the teenager he had defended so many times from stupid bullies back in junior high, the reason for the first butterflies he had felt flying insistently inside his stomach. The man that knows him better than anyone else, who can sit by his side and listen to him rant all day no matter about what.

 

His first love.

 

_“I love him,”_

 

He loves Jaehwan.

 

He stands up and makes his way out the room, not a thought on his mind except the name of his best friend.  He is rushing down the stairs, ready to sprint out the house and look for him when suddenly he hears the front door close.

 

_“Daniel!”_

 

Jisung calls him, voice loud and firm but not reprimanding. He walks into the living room and there’s Jisung waiting for him in the middle of the room, Taewoong standing behind him with a blank face, car keys grasped in his fist.

 

_“I’ll take him home,”_

 

Taewoong whispers to his husband, his free hand gives Jisung’s shoulder a squeeze before he turns around and leaves the house. He is about to go after Taewoong, already an idea of who he is taking home in his mind but Jisung calls his name again, this time in a much lower voice. He turns his attention to his cousin who points to the couch, a silent order for him to sit down.

 

He obeys him and sits down on the middle of the couch, Jisung moves to sit next to him, leaving enough space between them to make it clear he’s somewhat upset, but he can read in his eyes he’s feeling more confused than anything else.

 

_“I had been waiting for you to talk to me but I can’t do that anymore Daniel, I need to know why we found Jaehwanie so upset. What are you running away from now?”_

He flinches automatically, you can trust on Jisung to be so blunt when needed and it seems he has reached his limit now. He sighs and tries to gather all of his courage so he can open up to him, he knows he will be disappointing one of the most important person on his life, and this would be the first time he actually says out loud the horrible sin he has been committing.

 

Jisung as if sensing Daniel’s feelings reaches to grab at one of his hands giving it a light squeeze. He takes a deep breath before he takes Jisung’s hand so he lets go of him, his cousin frowns but makes no move to insist.

 

_“I… I’ve been cheating on Seongwoo…”_

He turns his head away so he can’t see Jisung’s face. He feels a coldness envelope his body, the guilt coming back full force. Jisung gasps and he can hear him standing up.

 

_“What? But what does this have to do with Jaehwan? Why was he so upset I don’t…Daniel, don’t tell me you…”_

He curves his back, lowering his head as much as possible, trying unconsciously to make himself smaller as if that could somehow help him, hide him from the world. Jisung again gasps, this time louder as realization hits him. Daniel had gone to him when he had first realized his feelings for Jaehwan back in his first year of high school, his cousin had been as comforting as ever. He had adviced him to do what his heart told him to and he had decided to stay quiet fearing the rejection and ruining his friendship with Jaehwan.

 

_“How long?”_

 

Jisung’s voice is cold and he can’t help but look up, meeting his cousin’s eyes. He bites down on his lips nervously but still opens his mouth and answers him honestly.

 

_“Around one and a half years now…”_

 

Jisung’s eyes widen and his mouth falls open his left hand going up to cover his gaping mouth. He turns away quickly, knowing the next realization his cousin will have.

 

_“You proposed to Seongwoo a couple months ago, yet you’re still doing this? Daniel tell me I’m wrong please,”_

 

He pleads him, sitting down next to him again and taking both of his hands in his, his fingers wrap around his hands tightly. He slowly shakes his head, not daring to admit it out loud. His cousin sighs, sounding already emotionally tired.

 

He knows Jisung likes Seongwoo and a lot, everyone does of course, it’s impossible to not have a soft spot for the model, so he must be mad at Daniel for doing what he has done, but Daniel knows Jisung can’t bring himself to be mad at Jaehwan, at least not completely, for he sees the other male as another younger brother just like he sees Daniel, but he must be upset with him.

 

Jisung lets go of his hands and he looks up to watch him rub at his temples, his eyes closed and taking deep breaths trying to calm himself. Without opening his eyes he makes a sign for Daniel to go on, to explain how this all happened.

 

And he does.

 

He tells him everything.

 

He tells him about that first night when Jaehwan in a drunken state had clumsily kissed him and he had not rejected him. He explains to him how the feelings he had thought had died long ago came back full force and was unable to reject him.

 

He tells him how he had refused to talk about it, how shameful he had felt but not as guilty as he knew he should. Then he tells him about how a couple days later Jaehwan had slowly crawled onto his lap, straddling him and giving him a chance to back out but he had stayed.

 

Jisung listens silently as he tells him how they kept spending the nights together, how he knew Seongwoo could tell something was going on but never confronted him. He swears to him he had tried to stop when he realized just how much he was hurting Seongwoo, how he had proposed to him with the intention of stopping.

 

He tells him he had gone to Jaehwan and told him they were stopping, that he loved Seongwoo and had to stop hurting him, but Jaehwan had asked him to stay one night more and he was unable to reject him once more even when he was conscious that it wouldn’t be the last time.

 

He cries as he tells him that Seongwoo had found out, confesses he was too much of a coward to admit his sin and had instead denied it even after Seongwoo had showed him that picture of him and Jaehwan kissing. He whispers that Seongwoo packed his stuff, throw his engagement ring at him and told him to leave.

 

He sobs as he tells him what had just happened, that Jaehwan had come to him worried for him, that Jaehwan had been confronted by Seongwoo when he was looking for him, tells him that Jaehwan’s eyes were shining with hope for _them_ but he had blamed him instead and how sadly Jaehwan had smiled at him before he left.

 

He leans closer to Jisung and cries into his chest, cries how he loves Seongwoo and hates himself for hurting him, that he deserves so much more than him but he can’t bring himself to let him go, cries how he loves Jaehwan even after all this time, that he wants to give him everything but he _can’t._

 

Jisung wraps his arms around him and hugs him closer, one hand rubbing comforting circles on his broad back and another one caressing his head. Jisung lets him cry for what feels like hours, at some point he can hear the front door open and he tenses but his cousin shushes him as Taewoong makes his way past them and into their bedroom.

 

 

 

 

_“Niel-ah,”_

 

He leans back slowly, lifting a hand up to his face so he can rub at his swollen eyes.

_“You have to make a choice and stand by it,”_

 

Jisung whispers to him softly, the hand that still rests on his head brushes his hair gently and he leans into the touch like a child, seeking the comfort his cousin still gives him.

 

_“You have to talk to them, both of them,”_

He nods slowly, he knows he needs to talk to them, they both deserve to know the true, he can only hope they will be willing to listen to him after all he had done to them.

 

Jisung stands up and claps once so Daniel focuses all of his attention on him. He tilts his head confused as to what his cousin will say next but he smiles at him tenderly.

 

_“But you have to let everything cool down a little ok? Give it a couple days before you go looking for them, now I’ll go for Woongie and we’ll have dinner ok?”_

 


	11. Locked

It’s been almost a week since he send that picture to Seongwoo, almost a week since he finally made his first move on his best friend, almost a week since he was rejected, almost a week since the last time he has seen him.

 

He doesn’t know how much longer Seongwoo will need until he’s ready to move on, how long until he will need his help with canceling the weeding plans he had with Daniel. He doesn’t worry too much about them, after all they hadn’t progressed too far with them, the more reason for why he had to intervene like he did, if he waited any longer it may have gotten complicated.

 

Or maybe not, maybe Daniel would have kept pushing the date further and further back, for he knows Seongwoo had been trying to get Daniel to help him settle on dates but he only meet Daniel’s excuses.

 

He had read Seongwoo’s small notebook once when he had left it at the dressing room in one of their shared shoots. Seongwoo always carried with him a small black notebook, he could see him write down at random intervals of times, but when he read it he finally knew what he was doing.

 

A page filled with flower names, different combinations made with a themed color, another one with rough sketches of suits, food and drinks, he could recognize the name of a couple photographers he had worked with before, and then a list of musicians where he should had expected to find _his_ name but he didn’t.

                                                                                                                                                         

_Kim Jaehwan_

 

His name was highlighted and at that made his blood boil. Seongwoo had asked Jaehwan to perform at his wedding, had asked his fiancé’s lover if he would sing at their wedding and Jaehwan had the gall to accept.

 

It’s around 10pm and he as he has done for the last week, before going back to his place after work he sends a message to Seongwoo asking if he needs anything, if he needs someone to talk to, he doesn’t expect an answer but surprisingly his phone buzzes a couple minutes later.

 

_“Jaehwan came by. He was looking for Daniel and I told him I knew about them but he didn’t seem to care, I asked him if he loves Daniel and he answered he does. I didn’t know how to react, I just asked him to leave”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 _“Minhyun-hyung_?” Sewoon asks as he tilts his head in clear confusion but makes no other move to open the door wider annoying the elder. He smiles at him gently, gives him his kindest smile but the other still doesn’t move _“What are you doing here?”_

_“I would like to see Jaehwanie so if you could let me in Sewoonie I would be very-“_

_“No,”_

Sewoon denies him firmly, his voice flat and low. His small eyes stare at him, something sparking inside them.

 

Minhyun sighs internally, of course Sewoon will try his best to protect his best friend, he has always been able to sense people’s feelings and he is sure he can read the anger in Minhyun’s body. He would like to think Sewoon is innocent, that he doesn’t know what his friends had been doing but he’s sure the boy knows, he knows yet he has sided with them.

 

The smile he had on his lips transforms into a scowl before he can help it and he makes to push the door back but Sewoon simply places his foot in the right place so he can’t. He looks up and meets the other’s cold eyes.

 

_“Please leave Minhyun-hyung,”_

_“I need to talk to Jaehwan, Sewoon so just-“_

_“I won’t let you in hyung, just leave,”_

_“Sewoon!”_

_“Leave.”_

 

Before he can say anything else, Sewoon shuts the door, quickly locking it seconds after. He stays there for a couple minutes, he can hear Jaehwan’s meek voice ask his friend who was at the door and Sewoon telling him it was nobody and to go back to bed, his tone warm and gentle. Minhyun sighs annoyed and turns around making his way to the elevator and out the apartment complex.

 

 

 

A couple days later he decides to go and see how Seongwoo is doing after work, even when there’s a chance Seongwoo won’t open the door. He buys takeout from Seongwoo’s favorite chicken place and even stops at a bakery to buy him a couple of his favorite desserts, maybe then Seongwoo will accept to open the door to him, he hates wasting food after all.

 

He’s outside his door when he lets the food down on the floor so he can reach inside his pocket and pulls out his phone, quickly calling Seongwoo’s number. He can hear the incoming call from inside the apartment but no movement from the one that lives inside it. The calls goes to voicemail and he sighs before he tries to call again, with his other hand he makes to knock on the door but he caught movement from the corner of his eye that makes him freeze.

 

He turns around slowly, thinking for a couple moments his eyes may be playing tricks on him, but as he rubs at them and he keeps seeing the same thing he has to acknowledge the reality.

 

The reality that right there is standing none other than Kang Daniel.

 

Daniel looks as shocked as he feels and they stay there just looking at each other. Then Seongwoo picks up the call.

 

_“What?”_

 

In the dead silence of the hallway it’s impossible to miss Seongwoo’s voice coming from the phone, Daniel flinches and he can see how his hands shake briefly before he shoves them inside the pockets of his black hoodie.

 

_“Minhyun what is it?”_

He lets his hand fall to his side, phone still clutched tightly on his hand. Daniel turns his gaze to the floor, he rocks on the balls of his feet and takes one hand out a pocket to instead run It through his blonde hair.

 

_“What are you doing here?”_

 

Daniel looks up surprised, maybe he was not expecting Minhyun to address him. How stupid of him, to think he would just let this slip.

 

_“Huh? What do you mean Minhyun?”_

 

He ignores Seongwoo’s unlike Daniel whose eyes fly to Minhyun’s phone. There’s a desperation inside them that makes his blood boil for reasons he can’t explain.

 

_“Did you really came here to talk to him? After everything you did to him?”_

 

The blonde nods his head still looking at the phone in Minhyun’s hand, he’s biting down on his lips nervously as he keeps fidgeting on the same spot.  How can Daniel dare to show his face, he should had just left and never came back, he has lost Seongwoo, there is no way he will take him back, no after betraying him like he did, no matter how in love Seongwoo was with the blonde, he wouldn’t let him ruin his life like this anymore.

 

_“…Daniel?”_

 

Seongwoo’s wavering voice breaks the silence. He finally ends the call just as Daniel turns his gaze to the door and that’s the final straw for him.

 

He doesn’t think twice about it, doesn’t need to think on what he is doing.

 

He stomps his way to Daniel, his hand forms into a fist, his thumb on the outside of his fist between his index and middle finger, he pulls his elbow back and aims right at Daniel’s left cheek before he flings his fist forward, crashing against the white and unblemished skin. Daniel is caught off guard and he falls onto the floor, his hands quickly shooting up towards his face.

 

His knuckles sting but he ignores the pain, instead glares at the man before him. Daniel doesn’t give him the satisfaction of showing the pain he must be feeling, instead he silently stands up, pushing his shoulders back as he glares back, his left cheek now a vibrant red, the white skin bruising at a surprising speed.

 

He pulls his elbow back again but the loud noise of the door behind them being flung open stops him. He turns around as quickly as possible and finds Seongwoo standing there, dressed in an old grey shirt that he knows is too big to belong to him and a pair of purple sweatpants with yellow lines going down the sides.

 

It feels as if time had frozen for nobody makes a move or noise. He keeps on looking at Seongwoo but Seongwoo just stares right past him, not even glancing in his direction once. Then he takes a step forward, his legs shaking lightly and it seems like his legs will fail him so he reaches to grab at him but Seongwoo slaps his hands away, still without looking in his direction.

 

_“Daniel, oh my God, Daniel are you ok?”_

 

Seongwoo rushes past him and Minhyun can only watch as Seongwoo’s hands hesitate for a couple seconds before he reaches slowly towards Daniel’s face, touching gingerly the swollen skin making the blonde flinch, Seongwoo apologizes in a quiet whisper as he bites down on his lower lip worriedly. Daniel then glances at him meeting his eyes.

 

He reaches forward again, grabbing one Seongwoo’s wrists and pulls him back, standing before him and hiding him from Daniel, but Seongwoo pushes him aside, turning to look at him, finally looking into his eyes.

 

_“You can leave now Minhyun, I’ll call you later,”_

 

Then Seongwoo turns to Daniel and in a much softer voice invites him inside, telling him he will look for _their_ first aid kit. Minhyun watches as they walk inside, Seongwoo glancing once at the takeout on the floor next to the door before he closes the door behind him and locks it.

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Second

_“Sit down I’ll go bring you something_ ,”

 

Daniel nods as he sits down on the middle of the couch, he quickly turns around and goes to the kitchen opening the freezer and reaching behind a couple packs of frozen meat finds what he’s looking for. He goes back to the living room and slowly places the cold pack against Daniel’s swollen cheek.

 

The blonde flinches caught off guard at the coldness but he stays still when he shushes him, hunching his broad shoulders and focusing his attention on the floor. He knows Daniel is fully capable of holding the cold pack to his own face but he doesn’t let go of it, they have already done this before, when Daniel would get hurt while dancing, he would order him to stay still and hold a cold pack against the swollen area, be it his wrist or knee, he would nurse him while he scolded him for overworking himself.

 

The silence is heavy and suffocating, he can read on Daniel’s expression he’s thinking of what to say but doesn’t know how to start. He watches him rise a hand to his mouth and knowing what he will do he slap the hand away shocking Daniel. Daniel looks up at him but he shakes his head.  
  
_“You have to stop doing that,”_  
  
He glances pointedly at the small scars covering the back of Daniel’s hand, the marks the blonde had left behind with his own teeth, a horrible habit he has had since before he met him and has not been able to stop no matter how many times he tries to stop him.  
  
Daniels nods his head and again looks away, this time his eyes darting around the living room, taking in the mess Seongwoo has been living in for the last week, takeout containers loitering the floor, a couple empty beer cans on the coffee table, a blanket besides him on the couch and Seongwoo’s favorite pillow. He feels ashamed for a moment, knowing Daniel will realize he couldn’t bring himself to sleep at their bedroom.

 

He thinks it’s safe to assume Daniel was here to talk, but he fears about what. Maybe he is here to tell him to cancel the wedding plans, maybe he is here to tell him he went to Jaehwan, maybe he is here to tell him to his face he doesn’t love him, maybe he is here to tell him Jaehwan is better than he ever will, that he will never compare to Jaehwan. The idea of it makes his chest ache.  
  
Before he can realize it, he has opened his mouth and the words stumbled out.  
  
_“Is he better than me?”_

Daniel turns to face him so fast he may have hurt his neck, but he can’t bring himself to look at his face so he stares at the cold pack, trying his best to not look at Daniel’s expression. He feels so ashamed he wishes he could take back his words but it’s too late now, the question is hung on the air and it’s up to Daniel to take it and answer or ignore it.

 

And Daniel takes it.  
  
_“He is not,”_  
  
His breath hitches and his eyes sting with the incoming tears but he blinks them away, managing quickly to get a hold of his emotions.  
  
_“Then why did you sleep with him? Was he really that good of a lover that you had to cheat on me?”_  
  
Daniel sighs and shakes his head, he sounds sad and that confuses him.  
  
_“It’s not about who is a better lover Seongwoo, really-“  
  
“Then why? What did he do that had you coming back to him?”  
  
_ He fears the answer he may get, knows it will hurt too much to hear the truth he already knows even when he pretends to not know it. Daniel sighs and tried to make eye contact with him but he evades his eyes, he doesn’t want to look into his eyes but Daniel gently grabs his chin and holds him still, calling his name in a low whisper that has him looking up.  
  
Daniel looks pained, as if he himself doesn’t want to say what he says next, his eyes sparkling with the tears he is holding back.  
  
_“I love him,”_  
  
He pulls back as if Daniel had physically hit him, he lets go of the cold pack and stands up ready to turn away but Daniel reaches forward to grab his hand and pulls him gently, silently asking him to sit down but he refuses to, instead he stays standing before him, looking away as he feels Daniel’s stare on him. The blonde stands up too and tried again to make him face him but when he makes a move to turn away Daniel gives up.  
  
He can feel the tears coming up, his heart beat picking up and his lungs feeling too small. He reaches up to try and dry the tears away before they fall but he fails, they fall down freely down his once the first teardrop escapes him.

 

Daniel is in love with _Jaehwan_.  
  
Daniel is in love with his _best friend_.  
  
Jaehwan is in _love_ with Daniel.  
  
_The childhood friends are in love with each other, how sweet_ he thinks bitterly. They are in love with each other just like a stupid Disney movie, they grew up together and together they will end. Ong Seongwoo is nothing but a nuisance on their love story, they will move on and he will be left behind, heartbroken.

  
He turns away not wanting Daniel to see him weep so miserably, he hides his face in hands and cries. Slowly a pair of strong arms wrap around him and he’s pulled back against a warm chest. He’s about to push Daniel away when the blonde whispers against his ear, confessing in a gentle and honest voice.  
  
_“But I love you more,”_  
  
…  
  
_“I do Seongwoo, I love you too much,”  
_  
Then why…why did he cheat on him? If he claims to love him why would he hurt him like he did?  
  
_“I was selfish, I wanted you both even when I knew I couldn’t have you_ and _Jaehwan,”_

He reaches down to grab Daniel’s hands and breaks his embrace, taking a couple steps forward to put some distance between them. He can’t bring himself to look at him yet so he stays like that, his back still facing Daniel.  
  
_“Do you really love me?”_  
  
His question is whispered so lowly he fears Daniel will have to ask him to repeat himself, is not sure he can bring himself to repeat it but thankfully Daniel heard him.  
  
_“I do, I love you, when I proposed to you it was with the intention of being only yours,”  
_  
He unconsciously rubs at where his engagement ring used to be, but he feels disgusted at the idea that Daniel still even after proposing to him, after promising him he would love him forever, had still gone back to Jaehwan’s bed.  
  
_“A couple days later I went to tell Jaehwan we were over and I did tell him that, told him it was a mistake but-“  
_  
He turns around and lifts a hand up, desperate to stop Daniel from saying _it_ out loud. Daniel frowns and mutters an apology before he keeps talking, telling him he has to say it.  
  
_“But he asked me for one more time and…and I couldn’t say no… but it was not the last time,”_

He can feel himself get mad, disgusted with Daniel and Jaehwan but even more with Daniel. Here he was, telling him to his face that he had been sleeping with Jaehwan even after proposing to him, he looked apologetic, guilt clear on his face but it was not enough, it couldn’t compare to the hurt he was feeling.  
  
_“Why are you telling me this?”_  
  
Daniel takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes, he reaches inside the pocket of his ripped jeans with a shaking hand. He opens his eyes but his hand stays a fist, hiding from his what he is holding. He asks Seongwoo for his hand but he doesn’t move.  
  
He watches as Daniel slowly uncurls his fingers, the palm of his hand facing the ceiling. When he sees what’s laying on the palm of his hand he takes a step back.

 

It’s his engagement ring.

 

_“I’m telling you this because…because you need to know everything if I’m going to ask you for another chance,”_

His eyes widen and he thinks he may have heard wrong. Daniel can’t really be asking him that. It doesn’t make any sense, it’s ridiculous. Daniel had just told him he loved Jaehwan, Jaehwan loved him back so why would Daniel do this?

 

_“What…What about Jaehwan?”_

_“I already talked to him, I told him I can’t be with him, that I love you too much and can’t live without you,”_

He looks up meeting Daniel’s eyes, he looks into them trying to find something, something that tells him Daniel is lying, that he’s fooling him. His heart is beating like crazy, as if it wants to burst out his chest, his ears ring and he feels lightheaded. He takes a couple staggering steps towards the couch so he can sit down for he fears his legs will fail him with how much they are shaking.

 

Daniel slowly sits down next to him as if giving him a chance to stop him. He takes a glance at the ring, he needs to grab at his wrist to stop himself from reaching for it.  He looks at Daniel, wary he may be lying to him.

 

 _“How can I believe you? You already proposed to me once Kang Daniel and that didn’t stop you,”_  
  
His voice is icy cold and threatening, if Minhyun were here he is sure he would have already kicked Daniel out. The blonde is asking for something that he doesn’t deserve, no matter how much he loves him, asking for a second chance after all he did is too much.  
  
_“I was not honest to you back then, this time I am, I’m telling you I love Jaehwan, maybe I will always love him, but the love I feel for you is stronger Seongwoo, I can’t imagine a life without you now,”_

The mention of Daniel’s love for Jaehwan still makes him feel sick, but when he takes a glance into Daniel’s eyes he can see how truthful he is being right now, he has never been able to hide his true feelings, but he pretended to not see the love in them when he looked at his best friend, the same spark he had when he looked at him.

 

He is picking him over Jaehwan.

 

_“I…”_

_I can’t imagine a life without you now_

 

Those words resound inside him, for he feels the same. When Minhyun had told him he had to leave Daniel he had felt like the world had crashed around him. Daniel was such a big part of his life now, he fears there is no going back. That week he had lived without Daniel was the worst week in his life, he can’t imagine living every day like that, feeling so empty and broken.

 

With shaking hands he reaches for Daniel’s face, slowly cupping his face being careful to not put too much pressure on his still swollen cheek. The blonde leans into his touch, presses a soft kiss against the palm of his hand and closing his eyes in content.  
  
_“I love you Ong Seongwoo,”_  
  
He can’t fight back the tearful smile he gives the blonde, his eyes stinging with the tears he doesn’t care to hold back. Daniel reaches with his free hand to brush his tears away so gently his breath hitches. He leans forward slowly, his eyes glancing at Daniel’s mouth and the younger gets the silent request, leaning forward to meet him halfway.

 

  
  
_“I love you Kang Daniel_

 _I love you_ too _much,”_

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


	13. Go

Sewoon is taking too long at the door and he gets curious, last time he had taken this long Sewoon had refused to tell him the reason and instead distracted him by talking about something silly a coworker had done that day.

 

He gets up from his bed and exits his bedroom –where he had been hiding since that day- silently making his way to the front door where he can only see his friend’s back. Sewoon is making full use of his surprisingly broad back and prevents whoever is outside from glancing inside.

 

_“Please understand I don’t want you talking to him,”_

 

Sewoon’s request is whispered in an almost pleading voice, but there’s the coldness in it that means he’s not really asking for an opinion.

 

He hears the rumble of a familiar voice behind the door but he isn’t able to catch the words. He stays still as Sewoon replies.

_“Daniel, I think some time should pass before you talk to him so I’ll ask you again to leave,”  
_  
_“It’s okay Sewoon-ah,”_

 

Sewoon turns around, his small eyes wide open, now he can see Daniel behind him but he tried to not look at him, not yet. His friend shakes his head at him and he is sure he is about to tell him to go back to his room so he speaks before him.

 

_“Don’t worry too much,”_

Sewoon frowns, his expression asking silently how can he ask him to not worry and he can’t blame him, he’s thankful to have such a good friend but he doesn’t think it would be the right choice to send Daniel away, if the blonde has stopped running he should too.

 

_“Are you sure Jaehwanie? You don’t have to listen to him, not if you don’t want to,”_

 

He gives him a small smile and nods, he’s sure about this, even if he fears the outcome of this conversation, he owns Daniel that much. Sewoon sighs and opened the door wider, going towards his bedroom, telling them he will stay there while they talk.

 

Daniel stays standing outside without moving until he invites him inside. He closes the door behind him and they make their way to the small living area, sitting down on the couch, he takes note about how Daniel makes sure to leave space between them.

 

They stay quiet for a couple minutes, each second makes him grow more nervous but he gives Daniel the time to collect his thoughts, watches as he lifts his hand up to his mouth and bites lightly at his knuckles. He remembers when back in college Seongwoo had asked him why he never stopped Daniel, told him how it’s a harmful habit but he didn’t had to say anything back, he had showed him the tips of his fingers and Seongwoo saw the familiar marks he shook his head.  
  
_“I’m sorry,”_

 

An apology is not what he was expecting at all, he looks up to meet Daniel’s eyes but the blonde is staring at the floor, his mouth twisted into a scowl.  
  
_“I’m sorry Jaehwan, I’m so sorry, I don’t have the words to express how sorry I am, I just-“_  
  
Daniel keeps on apologizing, his voice getting lower and lower until he’s not able to make the words he’s mumbling. He can recognize the signs on his body that he’s near tears but he doesn’t move to try and comfort him, the memory of Daniel blaming him after the last time he had tried to comfort him is too recent for him to try and help him, he fears Daniel will take back his words and blame him again.  


So he watches as the tears spill from Daniel’s eyes, watches how they fall to the wooden floor one after another. His chest aches and his hands twitch to reach to hug the younger but he stays still. Daniel tries to stop the tears from falling, lifts his hands to his face and pats at his eyes with his sleeves.  
  
_“What are you sorry for?”_  
  
When Daniel doesn’t make a move to face him he repeats his question. The blonde slowly looks up and takes in a deep breath before he turns to face him, finally meeting his eyes. Seeing the pain in them finally makes him move and he reaches forward to cup his face with one hand, his thumb brushing the tears that refuse to stop as he takes one of Daniel’s hands in his other one.  
  
Daniel places his own hand on top of the one that cups his cheek and intertwines their fingers. He can’t stop his heart from beating faster at the gesture, Daniel proceeds to press a soft kiss inside the palm of his hand before he takes his hand off his face.  
  
_“I’m sorry for loving you,”_  
  
Ah  
  
How many times had he dreamed of hearing Daniel say that?  
  
He always imagined that he would burst into tears of happiness, that he would throw his arms around his best friend and hug him close.  Never had he expected for Daniel to apologize for loving him, he didn’t want him to apologize for it, it tears him apart to hear he’s sorry for loving him. He tries to reach for Daniel’s face again but the blonde leans back slightly, shaking his head.  
  
_“Please don’t apologize for that Daniel,”  
  
_ He pleads trying to reach for Daniel again, this time the blonde allows him. He caresses his flushed cheeks as gently as possible, he leans close until they are inches apart, resting his forehead against Daniel’s.  
  
_“We can still be happy together, remember when we promised to grow old together? We can still do that,”_  
  
Daniel’s eyes tear up again but he brushes the tears away before they can fall, leaning even closer pressing a kiss against each of Daniel’s eyelids.

 

 _“We can’t do that Jaehwan,”_  
  
He shakes his head, whispers how they can, that if Daniel loves him then they can do it, they can be together if they try, their families would be so glad for them, but the blonde lets out a small whimper sounding as heartbroken as he feels.

 

 _“It’s too late for us,”_  
  
Daniel leans away and he lets him, his hands falling to his lap, he immediately feels them grow cold now that they are not pressed against Daniel’s warm cheeks. The pain in his chest is not sharp, instead it begins small, hurting more and more with each word that comes out of Daniel’s mouth.  
  
_“But I love you…and you love me too so why,”_  
  
He hears how pathetic he sounds but he can’t bring himself to care, not when Daniel is taking his happy ending away from them, from him. He can only watch as Daniel’s eyes fill with tears that he tries to blink away before he gives him a sad smile.

 

 _“I love Seongwoo, I can’t live without him and I can’t keep hurting him Jaehwan-ah, we have to stop, maybe we should stop seeing each other at all so-“_  
  
_No_

 

 _“You can’t do that!”_  


Before he can think about what is he doing he’s reaching to grab at Daniel’s hoodie, grabbing at his shoulders, his hands grabbing fistfuls of it. The blonde leans back surprised but he only leans closer.  
  
_“You can’t just… you can’t just leave me!”_  
  
Daniel places his hands on his chest and pushes him back gently but he only moves closer. The room feels like it getting smaller, as if the walls were closing in, he can feel his breathing get uneven, he’s getting chocked up and he presses his face against Daniel’s chest before he is hiding on the crook of his neck, he’s unable to stop the tears from escaping him, letting them fall on Daniel’s soft skin.  
  
_“Jaehwan, calm down I-“  
  
“Please Daniel, don’t leave me, we can go back to being best friends, I’ll move on I promise, just don’t leave me,”  
  
_ He keeps begging until he feels a familiar warmth envelope him, strong arms pulling him against a hard chest. A big hand cradles the back of his head, long fingers getting lost in his curls, another hand placed against the small of his back, the legs under him open slowly until he is sitting between them.  
  
 Daniel rocks him side to side as he cries, the sobs shaking his body and making it difficult for him to breathe properly. He’s feeling lightheaded, his lungs ache as they ask for more oxygen but he can’t stop crying. He cries for what feels like hours and Daniel keeps trying to comfort him, his voice low and chest rumbling as he speaks.  
  
_“We need time Jaehwan-ah, so that we can go back to how it used to be, please understand it’s for the both of us,”_  
  
He can’t help but snort. Go back to how it used to be? He has been pinning for Daniel since high school and never stopped, he thought he was content with being only friends but he always craved for more, he was okay with becoming only a lover if that was all that Daniel could give him.

But Daniel is not asking him for his opinion, he is telling him he will distance himself from him for who knows how long, how long it will take them to stop feeling this for each other? Will they ever stop?  
  
He leans back enough to look up and meet Daniel’s eyes finding in them reflected the same pain he is feeling. The blonde bites at his lips and he sees how much he’s trying to think about what he will say next, looking conflicted if he should say what’s on his mind before he opens his mouth.  
  
_“Please Jaehwan, if you really love me…”_

 

  
  
_Let me go._  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was supposed to be the last chapter but there's still one more to come, please look forward to it!


	14. Confidence

He gives Daniel another chance.  
  
He fears he’s making the wrong choice, all the trust he had on Daniel has been lost and he doesn’t know if he’ll trust him again, even when Daniel tells him he has cut all contact with Jaehwan he still feels insecure, he knows they will eventually meet again for before lovers they were best friends.  
  
He is not wearing his engagement ring, at least not yet, he asked Daniel to understand that he needed some time before being able to wear it and the blonde had accepted. He carries the ring with him at all times inside his wallet, always conscious of its weight. When he goes back to work his colleagues take quick notice of it but no one dares to ask him the reason and for that he’s thankful.

 

Saying Minhyun is mad that he got back together with Daniel would be an understatement. The other model evades him at work and has overall stopped talking to him, but he knows the reason behind Minki’s sudden interest in his life is Minhyun still looking out for him.  
  
Daniel had asked him if he wanted to take it slow, if he should stay at Jisung’s place until he was ready for them to live together again, but he had refused without thinking twice about it, he foolishly though he would be able to sleep well again with Daniel next to him. That night when they went to bed, he had made his way between Daniel’s arms as always, his head fitting perfectly under Daniel’s chin. But he was not able to sleep a wink, his mid buzzing with images of Jaehwan being in his position, of them cuddling under the bed sheets enjoying each other’s warmth while he had sleep in his own with cold sheets.  
  
It’s been barely a month since they got back together, they had not shared even a kiss in that time, each time he thinks of being intimate with Daniel he is reminded of Jaehwan and he stops. Daniel doesn’t seem bothered by it, on the contrary if it were not for him reaching out for him, Daniel would sleep on his side of the bed by himself. He feels relieved Daniel is not pushing him at first, but then he starts thinking _bad_ things, he fears Daniel will regret picking him if he stays like this, maybe he will go back to Jaehwan who is willing to give himself to him.  
  
So with that in mind, he prepares dinner one night, taking out one of Daniel’s wine bottles and serving them each a glass. The blonde thinks nothing of it, heck he can see the way his eyes light up, glad they are going back to one of their routines. At one point Daniel notices he is drinking more than usual, he looks at him worriedly and makes to take his glass away but he moves away, making excuses that work has been stressful that week and Daniel lets it go.  
  
He asks Daniel to wash the dishes and the blonde does. He watches him for a couple minutes, gathering his courage to walk up to him and press himself against his back, his arms wrapping around his waist, lips pressing against the nape of his neck. He feels the shiver that runs down Daniel’s spine and takes it as a sign to go further. Daniel turns them around and quickly leans closer, pressing his lips against his urgently. They kiss for a while until their lips swollen and breathing gets uneven, the blonde kisses his way down to his neck, licking at his pulse before he sucks the skin into his mouth making him let out a small whine. His hands make their way under Daniel’s shirt, his short nails grazing his sides before they slowly move to his back, his fingers pressing down on the warm skin.  
  
The skin where he once had felt the scratches left behind by someone else.  
  
He flinches away from Daniel surprising him, his eyes looking at him with confusion and worry. His heart beats like crazy and he feels himself grow anxious. His swears he can still feel the marks under his fingertips, marks that he knows are no longer there, a sick feeling grows on his stomach. He sees the way Daniel realizes what he must be thinking, sees the hurt and guilt cross his expression. Daniel opens his mouth and he just knows he’s about to apologize, that he will tell him to not push himself.  
  
But he has to do this, now or he will lose him again.  
  
So before Daniel can speak, he crashes his mouth against his, his hands back around his back, his moves are desperate, he kisses him clumsily and ends up knocking their teeth more than once. He ignores the whispers inside his mind, ignores the thought of someone else taking his place in Daniel’s arms. The blonde tries to move away but he just hugs him tighter.

  
  
_“I need this,”_

 

The next day when Daniel leaves the bed, he feels a sick form of peacefulness in seeing the marks he left, the thought of him being the only one allowed to leave them leaves him at ease.

 

  
  
A fake confidence.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember when I said I only had one chapter left? Yeah I lied.  
> This went a little out of hand and what needs to happen next didn't fit here anymore.


	15. Happily

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I took so long to finish this, hope you can all understand!
> 
> I'm really thankful to all of you that read this work, every single kudo and comment brought me so much happiness.
> 
> I must give a special thank you to Blueqyuubi, it was thanks to them that I even continued this, it was meant to only be a drabble at first, but thanks to them I wrote more and I've enjoyed it so much.

It takes 2 years before they finally get married.

 

In that time, Daniel had gained his trust once again, he had stayed loyal to his word and had not seen Jaehwan again or contacted him in any way. He was now able to ignore the voices inside his mind that kept whispering that Daniel would leave him. The blonde never pushed him, he was nothing but caring, he was reminded about when they had first meet all those years ago, when Daniel was surprisingly too shy and he had to be one to take the step between friends and something more.

 

It was a Sunday morning after breakfast when he had taken out the engagement ring from his wallet slipped it back into his ring finger. He had then walked into the living room where Daniel was watching TV waiting for him, Sundays morning were spent lazily watching TV, he had sat by Daniel’s side and without saying anything just leaned against his side, letting his hand fall on top of the blonde’s thigh. Daniel’s body grew tense for a couple moments before he let out a deep sigh, relaxing again and taking his hand in his, pressing a soft kiss on the crown of his head.

 

Daniel actually participated in the planning of the wedding unlike before, when he had to leave the country for work Daniel promised to take care of everything and he did. He was happy.

 

But Daniel was not, at least not completely.

 

He had of course noticed how Daniel had stared at the guest list, his eyes reading up and down again and again until he realized what he was doing. He asked him if something was wrong even when he knew what bugged him, but Daniel had only given him a small smile before shaking his head and tried to change the topic. But he couldn’t let that pass.

 

_“You miss him,”_

Daniel tried to deny it, but he was doing a poor job, he was not able to even look into his eyes.

 

_“I can understand why you would miss him Daniel, he’s your best friend,”_

_“I promised you that-“_

Daniel was quick to defend himself, wanting to reassure him he had been loyal but he only raised his hand up asking him silently to stop talking.

_“You promised to cut all contact with him, I know but… doing so is hurting you and I don’t want you to be like this so I’ll ask you something and I want you to answer me honestly,”_

_“Can I trust you?”_

And that was how one invitation more was added to the list. One that he sent by himself. He couldn’t help but fear the decision, his hands trembling slightly when he had the invitation on his hands. But he knew it had to be done, if not for Daniel, then for the both of them. People would wonder why the best friend of one of the grooms was not invited, questions would be asked. They wanted, _needed_ to keep the image of a perfect relationship.

 

He didn’t want to feel the shame of everyone knowing he was cheated on.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

He asked Seongwoo if he could meet with Jaehwan a couple weeks before their wedding, Seongwoo of course had been adamant, his eyes were as expressive as always and he could see the uncertainty in them. He had reassured him he only wanted to make sure everything was okay, so there wouldn’t be awkwardness in their wedding. Seongwoo had agreed then, nodding his head slowly and without meeting his eyes. He had then reached to cup his fiancé’s small face, stroking his cheeks gently with his thumbs, he asked him to look into his eyes and when Seongwoo finally did he tried his best to express how serious he was.

 

_“I love you Seongwoo, I won’t hurt you again ok? I promise, I’m only yours now.”_

 

Seongwoo’s cheeks had dusted in pink at his words and his lips formed a beautiful small smile. He had then leaned down enough to press his lips against his in a chaste kiss. He didn’t want to lose that smile ever again.

 

So that was how he found himself again at Jaehwan’s and Sewoon’s shared apartment. Sewoon again refused to leave the place and stayed at his own bedroom, the music of him playing his guitar sounding loud in the silence that enveloped him and Jaehwan. He didn’t knew what to say to break the silence no matter how hard he thought about it, he feared what he could say would only hurt his best friend or make everything even more awkward. But Jaehwan always had a bigger mouth.

_“How are the wedding plans going?”_

He had been surprised by the question and he couldn’t help but stare at his best friend with his jaw hanging, but Jaehwan had only shrugged as if it was not a big deal what he had asked. Daniel was careful at first, answering his question shortly but Jaehwan had rolled his eyes at him and sighed.

 

_“Come on, give me details, is Seongwoo-hyung loosing his mind over the color of the napkins?”_

Daniel had laughed harder than Jaehwan’s lame joke deserved –that doesn’t mean he was wrong, Seongwoo did stress over every single detail- but he had been way too happy to be able to back to normal, to be able to talk again with his best friend like before. Jaehwan had laughed along with him, his smile reaching his eyes and that made Daniel want to cry in relief.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Jaehwan had gone to the bar as soon as the main deal was done. He had watched with a smile on his face when Seongwoo and Daniel had walked up the aisle. Had stayed by Daniel’s side as his best man. Had stayed quiet when the priest asked if there were any objections even as he felt Seongwoo’s heavy stare on him. Had clapped when the newlyweds kissed after the priest had told them to. He had watched them cut their wedding cake, laughed as Daniel childishly smeared icing on Seongwoo’s cheek. He had given his speech as Daniel’s best man and childhood friend, was able to keep the words “I love you” inside him for he knew Seongwoo, Daniel, Minhyun, Sewoon and Jisung would know the real meaning behind them. He even went on stage and sang their first dance.

 

He was barely able to keep his emotions on check, he honestly doesn’t know where his strength was coming from. But now he thinks he is allowed to drink a little more than he should, if someone is able to notice how teary his eyes are he can blame it on the excuse of being emotional about his _best friend_ _marrying the love of his life._

He was sipping on his forth glass of something he didn’t knew the name of –he only asked for something strong- when someone sat next to him, a heavy sigh coming out their lips. He turned around and was not able to recognize the stranger so he assumed it was a friend of Seongwoo, after all he knew everyone on Daniel’s side.

 

The stranger asked for something strong too and when the bartender gave him the same drink as him he turned to look at him, noticing the halfway finished drink on his hand, he arched his eyebrow and lifted his glass up.

 

_“Long day Mr. Best man?”_

 

He couldn’t help the bitter laugh that left his mouth. His eyes wandered to the dance floor against his will where he found Seongwoo and Daniel dancing on the center surrounded by their friends. They were smiling so widely.

 

_“You could say so,”_

 

The stranger was quick to notice the mood he was in and that seemed to make him curious.

 

_“Weddings are not your kind of thing, buddy? Even your best friend’s?”_

 

 _Especially because it’s my best friend’s.  
_ His mouth opened against his will but he was able to close it before the words could escape him. He stayed quiet but kept on staring at the happy newlyweds. The stranger hummed next to him and he turned to look at him only to find him staring at him, a thoutfull expression on his handsome face.

 

_“I don’t like weddings a lot myself, but Seongwoo insisted he needed me here,”_

_“Need you here?”_

 

He was curios now, who was this man, so important Seongwoo needed at his wedding? He knows most of the model’s friends from the dinners Daniel and Seongwoo used to host before.

 

The stranger’s full lips formed a small smirk, his cat like eyes twinkling with what Jaehwan guessed was mirth.

 

_“I’m a photographer, the times that I’ve worked with him have been his most successful ones,”_

 

Ah, that made sense, but now he couldn’t help but wonder if the photographer should be sitting here at the bar with him instead of taking photos of the happy couple. He asked him as much but the stranger only let out a high-pitched laugh that unconsciously made him smile himself.

 

_“You looked really sad Mr. Best man, I couldn’t just leave you like that,”_

 

He was not sure if he was so drunk he was imagining the flirty smile the black haired stranger shoot him but he was not able to dwell too long in his thoughts as he watched him down his drink in one swing, letting his empty glass down on the bar counter before he offered his hand to him.

 

He stared at the small and milky white hand, not knowing what the stranger was asking of him. The man didn’t mind though and reached to take his glass from him and placing it next to his so he could then take his hand on his.

 

_“Come on, dance with me, I’ll make you stop feeling nostalgic so you can actually enjoy the party,”_

 

The stranger stood up, pulling him with him in the direction of the dance floor. The song was suddenly turned into something more fit for a slow dance, the people that were dancing left the dance floor until only the couples stayed behind but this didn’t bother the handsome stranger, he naturally placed his other hand on Jaehwan’s hip. His brain was working slower than usual so he only noticed how short the other man was until they were standing in front of each other, his hand still holding his tightly but it didn’t feel uncomfortable; his hand was warm against his.

 

He could feel someone staring at him and he looked around him, trying to find who was staring at him. Then he meet Daniel’s eyes, his best friend was of course dancing with his husband, his arms wrapped around the elder’s lithe waist. He wanted to turn away but he couldn’t bring himself to, he felt as if time had stopped moving. His best friend’s eyes seemed to be dull, an empty stare in them, and he could read the hurt inside them making his heart ache painfully.

 

How he wished to go to him and stop him from looking at him like that, erase that hurt look from his eyes. But then he was brought back to reality, the man in front of him had tightened his hold on his hand as if asking for his attention. The man was staring at him, a small pout on his heart shaped lips.

 

_“I don’t get this whole aura around you two, being so possessive of your best friend is weird at you age,”_

 

He could feel how his cheeks heated up with embarrassment, panic growing inside his chest. No one should notice something was different between Daniel and him, if they did, he would lose him again and he couldn’t go through that again, he needed him in his life, even if he had to stay only as his best friend.

 

The pout turned a little playful, the hand on his hip moving until it was placed on the small of Jaehwan’s back and pulled him slightly closer.

 

_“Just focus on me, ok?”_

 

Before he even thought of an answer his eyes searched for Daniel’s again. He was smiling at him, his smile reaching his eyes honestly, as if he were asking him to give the man in front of him an opportunity. He then turned to look at shorter man, caught off guard by the gentle stare he was giving him, so gentle and caring he felt warmth grow inside him.

 

Maybe, it wouldn’t be so hard to move on this time around.

 

 

 

That was how he meet _Ha Sungwoon._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's it. I hope you enjoyed this!! I would love to read your comments on this last chapter, tell me what you think, if you liked it, hated it or anything really.  
> Thank you for reading!!


	16. Ever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ong's pov

_Once…_

_“Seongwoo are you ready? We’re already late, the taxi is waiting!”_

_“Sorry, I’m ready! I couldn’t find my jacket.”_

 

He’s rushing down the stairs, Daniel waiting for him holding the front door open. He stumbles on the last steps but Daniel is quick to reach for his arm and steady him, he lets out a small laugh, cooing how cute Seongwoo is when he’s clumsy. He rolls his eyes and pushes him away, muttering under his breath how he was not clumsy but the corner of his lips curve upwards in a small smile.

 

Daniel takes his hand in his and they leave their house, locking the door behind them.  They walk towards the taxi that’s waiting by the sidewalk, Daniel opening the door for him and he enters the car, Daniel closes the door and goes around it. The driver asks for their destination and he tells him the address. He turns to look outside the widow, his hand reaching for his husband’s and taking it in his, the warmth of it feeling as comfortable as always against his cold hands.

 

There was a lot of traffic but they miraculously make it just in time for the party since the newlyweds have not arrived yet. They make their way to their table where familiar faces are already waiting.

 

_“You’re so late yet your make up looks the same Seongwoo-hyung,”_

 

He has to lean forward to be able to glare at Jaehwan that is seated next to Daniel. The producer has a smirk on his face and he only glares at him harder. He knows the younger is only teasing but he can’t help but want to check his reflection, he had put extra effort on his look for it was an important event. Daniel giggles next to him and he turns his attention to him, a pout on his lips as he gives him his best puppy eyes.

 

Daniel of course quickly apologizes, leaning closer to him and pressing a kiss against his temple, telling him he looks stunning. He gives him a broad smile, telling him he of course knows this making everyone in their table groan and roll their eyes good naturally.

 

_“Did you do Daniel’s makeup Seongwoo-oppa?”_

 

He turns to look at the girl sitting directly in front of him. She has a small and round face, her hair styled into a bun with loose wavy locks framing her face, and her thin lips form a small circle as she stares blankly at Daniel’s face.

 

_“You know he did Nayoung-ah, Daniel can’t even put on lip tint correctly,”_

 

Everyone laughs at Minhyun’s jab, everyone except Daniel that is, he tries to defend himself explaining for the hundred times it was his cousin, Jisung’s fault for recommending that product. Nayoung lets out a noise as if she just realized what Minhyun made sense before she smiles at him, telling him he made a great job with Daniel’s eye shadow. He thanks her offering to do her make up some other time, he can see how Minhyun is smiling at his girlfriend, his smile full of adoration with how cute he finds her.

 

They don’t have to wait long until the protagonist of the night finally enter the room. Everyone in the room claps as the newlyweds make their way to the middle of the ballroom. The couple look so happy and in love he can’t help the dreamy sigh that leaves his lips. Daniel turns to give him a small smile and he gives him one back.

 

The clapping ends and Jaehwan stands up as silently as possible not wanting to gain any attention. He looks nervous but no one can blame him, this night will be the second time he sings the first dance for a best friend.

 

This time around though, his best friend is a famous composer and producer just like him, but he is marrying a really successful soloist that has several “Best Female Artist” under her name.

 

 

 

The party is at its full swing, most of the guests are dancing and there’s almost no space in the dance floor so he reaches to tap the shoulder of his husband and pointing in the direction of the bar, Daniel nods and turns around so he can keep dancing. He moves around the dancing bodies, trying his best to not show how surprised he is each time he recognizes one of them as a popular performer he has only seen on TV before.

 

The bar is almost empty but he’s glad to find two familiar faces. He makes his way between them leaning against the bar counter calling for the bartender’s attention. He orders a shot of vodka and he’s quickly served. He only turns to look at his friends once he has downed his drink and asked for another one.

 

_“I swear that I had to basically shove my wedding ring into an idol’s face so he backed off,”_

Minhyun chuckles as Sungwoon scoffs. The photographer looks unamused and he’s quick to complain how idols nowadays are so horny all the time, he has witnessed too many times how their makeup artist scolded them as they covered the hickeys with foundation and even then he had to edit the pictures to hide the bruises.

 

Something catches their attention and they stop talking so they can focus on the loud cheers that are coming from the dance floor. He stands on his tiptoes but he still can see what is causing such a commotion. They wonder what is happening until they are able to hear Jaehwan’s loud cheer above the music. He’s cheering for Daniel. Then they hear some other boys call another name, one that makes a face flash across his mind for how much he sees it on commercials and TV shows and that’s enough of a clue to know what is happening. He laughs at the idea that his husband, a grown ass man ended up having a dance battle with one of the idols that can’t be older than 23.

 

People start leaving the dance floor, watching from their seats how it became some sort of competition and they are now able to watch it too. Daniel was pulling off one of his best bboy moves and he was concerned for a moment, his wrist had been acting up lately and he shouldn’t be pushing it. Before he could go and do something –like scold him for being so stupid- Jaehwan stepped it, acting as if he were about to blow everyone away.

 

And he did.

 

But not in the way that some must have expected.

 

The producer started dancing a _bad_ cover of some boygroup he couldn’t be bothered to remember the name of. Everyone started laughing but Jaehwan just laughed along and kept dancing, eventually Sewoon joined him making everyone laugh even harder. His eyes went from watching the groom and his best man _dancing_ to Daniel that was laughing so hard he was clutching at his stomach, his smile so wide and happy that Seongwoo found himself smiling.

 

_“You’re still so whipped for him huh?”_

 

He could only reply with a sigh, he had no words to answer that and he knew he didn’t need them. Sungwoon just chuckled and commented how heartbroken his fangirls must be.

 

_“You’re one to talk Sungwoon-hyung,”_

 

At Minhyun’s words he finally turned to look at their friend, catching the dreamy look in his eyes as the man looked at his boyfriend. Sungwoon only shrugged his shoulders and looked away, calling the bartender and ordering a round for them.

 

_“You love him, don’t you?”_

 

His question is surprisingly caring and he curses himself, but he can’t help but worry for Sungwoon. He knows the photographer holds nothing but good intentions with Jaehwan for he is a really honest man, caring and tender even when he pretends to be rough around the edges. He feels guilty for encouraging him to court Jaehwan, the night of his wedding with Daniel, Sungwoon had asked him about Jaehwan. He had noticed the mood the producer was in and was confused for the reason. He of course didn’t explain the real reason behind it, had excused it on him being nostalgic, telling him how Daniel and Jaehwan had grown up joined at the hip that Jaehwan feared he was taking Daniel away from him.

 

And that was not far from the truth.

 

Sungwoon looks at him as if he was crazy for asking that and he can’t blame him. Sungwoon had even asked Jaehwan to move in with him a couple months after they started officially dating and the other man had agreed. They looked happy and in love, he was happy for them. And for himself. Knowing that Jaehwan was in a committed relationship made him feel _safer_ even when Daniel had done nothing for him to not trust him.

 

A change in Sungwoon’s expression made him get his head out of the clouds. His eyes looked troubled, an inner turmoil inside them, he could recognize the familiar insecurity and he worriedly followed his eyes.

 

The “competition” was over and Jaehwan had stopped dancing with Sewoon, instead he was dancing with Dainel, the both of them smiling widely at each other, they were fooling around, jumping at the rhythm of the music, they were close but not too close, nothing that should make Sungwoon look at them like that.

 

_“Sometimes…sometimes I feel like I’m competing with Daniel for Jaehwan,”_

 

Sungwoon’s confession sends a chill down his spine, memories rushing through his mind and he feels sick. Minhyun takes a quick glance at him before he lets his hand fall on Sungwoon’s shoulder gaining his attention.

 

_“You don’t have to worry about something like that hyung, they grow up together so-“_

_“Yeah, I know,”_

 

The shorter man shoots them a smile before he slowly takes out something from the pocket inside his jacket.

 

A small velvet box.

 

_“I don’t plan on losing against his best friend,”_

He’s too surprised to mutter a single word, he can’t even think properly. Minhyun does react, he can see the doubts on his eyes for a couple seconds before they are gone, pure happiness staying behind. He reaches to envelope the shorter man in a thigh hug, congratulating him and wishing him the best. Seongwoo does it next and they finally drink the round that Sungwoon had ordered.

 

Minhyun takes advantage of the topic and asks them if they think him and Nayoung are ready for that step, they’ve been dating for around 2 years and he’s not sure if he’s rushing it, he fears rejection too much to take the risk.

 

They keep talking for a long time, until the song changes to a slow one and the couples make their way to the dance floor. He glances around the room for Daniel but he can’t find him, his husband had promised him they would dance together but he couldn’t see him anywhere. Minhyun goes towards where Nayoung is sitting with other girls, the girls swoon when Minhyun bows to his girlfriend asking her for a dance and watch as he takes Nayoung away.

 

Sungwoon is still sitting next to him and he asks him if he’s not going to dance with Jaehwan but the photographer shakes his head no, dancing was not really Jaehwan’s thing, especially serious dancing like slow songs. He knows Sungwoon likes dancing so he teases him by promising to dance one song with him after he dances with Daniel.  Sungwoon rolls his eyes good naturally and shoos him away.

 

He really can’t spot Daniel in the ballroom so he decides to go look for him, maybe he went to the bathroom. He exits the room and walks down the hotel’s lonely corridor, everyone is inside and there’s not even staff outside the room, only the muffled sounds from inside it and the steps he takes can be heard.

 

He takes a turn to the right and then one to the left thinking that was the direction of the bathroom but he quickly notices he’s wrong, he sees only a wooden door at the end of the corridor and he guesses it’s a closet, he must have remembered wrong, the bathroom must be two turns to the right then. He turns around and is about go back when he hears the closet door open. He gets scared and hides behind the wall, being caught off guard by the closet door opening. He leans around the wall, expecting to see a hotel staff with a mop or something but that’s not what he sees.

 

Instead he sees Daniel and Jaehwan, their faces inches apart, a content expression on their faces, their eyes closed. Jaehwan’s hands are grabbing at the back of Daniel’s vest, his jacket left behind on their table long ago. Daniel’s hands are framing Jaehwan’s face, his hold looking so gentle as if he feared breaking him.

 

Then they close the distance between them.

 

 

 

 

 

_…a cheater, always a cheater._

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now THIS is the real ending. You can ignore this if you want it to end in a happier note but this is how I really planned to end it, I had to write it. If you read this please tell me what you think!!  
> Now this is over for real, I'm done with this plot.  
> This side of the plot that is.  
> If you ever wondered what would have happened if Jaehwan and Daniel had gotten together before Daniel meet Ong then please check out my other work "(Don't) Stop"  
> Thank you everyone that stayed with me through this rollercoaster.!!!!! I love you all.


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